A Journey of Despair, then Hope, Love & Joy…
My Brown Eyed Girl Shelby, who taught me the true meaning of “Joy In My Sorrow”.
As a child, I remember an old hymn we used to sing in church, “There Will Be Joy In My Sorrow Someday”. I had little idea, how those words would resonate throughout my life. Reminded again and again, when tragedy or traumas occurred. I believed them, but I had never experienced the joy in my sorrow so ‘quickly’, before Shelby. She is a dog I will never forget, for she taught myself and my family, friends, and many others, lessons which we can’t even comprehend. I always knew she was one special dog, I just never could have foreseen what we were about to experience for the next 13 months that we were blessed to have her in our lives.
The story of Shelby is one that I don’t even know that I can put into words. Or at least find the ‘right’ words to try and describe this incredible chocolate lab’s life, journey and purpose, and how she changed my life and showed me a world I could never have known the true depths of.
How I came to know Shelby
In November of 2016, Shelby’s owner was hospitalized with pancreatitis and pneumonia. He was on life-support in the ICU, and they didn’t think he’d make it. It was about a month into him being hospitalized; someone had asked ‘where is Shelby?’ GASP!!! That dog had been alone at his house, in the basement for over four weeks! A neighbor had been coming in to let her out and feed and water her. But other than that, she had zero interaction with anybody for that time.
I cried when I learned about this. That poor dog had been left alone; I couldn’t even imagine how she must have felt.
This inset picture shows the way she looked. No fur, pink, red and irritated skin. She stunk really bad and had gross stuff coming out of her ears and eyes. She had been sick for years, and the vets had given up on her, they didn’t know what to do for her anymore. It seemed as if her owner had given up too. All she could do was scratch and itch non-stop. And then, the owner got sick, and there was Shelby all alone, nobody to help her; left to pass away if nobody intervened.
Her owner’s friends asked me if I could help Shelby. I said, “Yes, I could”. I could help provide the entire Nzymes regimen, raw food, and anything else she needed. I just couldn’t take her into my house, as I had Gunther with us at that time. It would have been too much. A different friend was willing to take her home until such time that her owner was maybe able to come home from the hospital. Everyone was hoping for such.
Our First Meeting
I first met Shelby at the beginning of December 2016. I felt an instant ‘connection’ to her. I didn’t know then what that meant.
She was in a sad state. You could tell just by looking at her how miserable she must have felt. But yet, happy happy. Tail just a wagging, full of spirit, happy to be getting so much attention.
Her eyes, I can’t even explain what they looked like, the redness, and the puffiness was something I’d never seen before. We put 2 drops of colloidal silver into each eye, and she sat perfectly for us to do it. Didn’t even blink when the drops would hit her eyes. I can only imagine that it felt SO good to her. A ‘relief’. Within 5 minutes, literally, her eyes looked brighter and better?! (I wish we’d taken before and after pictures of this)
We gave her the first ever raw ‘meal’ now laden with all the supplements I knew she’d need. It took a bit of coaxing but my daughter Turi had her eating it all gone in no time.
After drinking a ton of water, off to the bath she went. When I first started spraying water on her, the water just ran off her like a duck. She was waterproof!! The grease on her skin was just SO thick. She wasn’t too happy about the bath, jumped out once, but I truly think she started feeling better very quickly with the Reliq shampoo. Her layers of skin just washed away, and the roughness immediately felt better. Lots of fur came off too. When she shook herself, clumps came off everywhere. (It reminded me exactly as Gunther had been, the first time we bathed him)
After her bath and drying, she was a whole new dog!!! She smelled great, wasn’t scratching at all, and wanted to PLAY! It was Game On!! Her happiness and excitement were catchy. We all felt how the mood changed with us. From feeling sorry for her to not. She wasn’t feeling sorry for herself, and so neither would we!
I knew that she now had the best chance of getting better with everyone involved, who all loved her dearly from the moment we met her. Her eyes. Shelby had the most “communicative” eyes I’d ever encountered. It was like she could speak to you. Everyone wanted to do whatever it took to get Shelby healthy again.
The friend had Shelby for 2 months, and she was doing quite well. She was growing fur back, and progress was being made. We learned though, that she had HUGE anxiety when left alone, and would gnaw at her tail. Leaving her alone was not good. But he had to work!! So, she sat alone while he was at work. Chewing at her tail, and pulling at her fur, itching, and scratching. This went on constantly, even when he was home unless she was being distracted.
Shelby came back for a few visits. When she would come to my house, it would seem to stop? Not completely, but significantly, We all couldn’t believe how calm and relaxed she was. I knew why, and that’s a bit of a story too. But in short, I have an EMF protection system in my home. I am terribly EMF sensitive, as is my son Koen. I believed Shelby was also EMF sensitive, and therefore being under my ‘dome’, brought her a level of comfort, because I know, when EMF is blocked from your body, your cells are able to repair even more, at a cellular level, and because you are ‘grounded’ down to the Schumann resonance of the Earth’s core. The ‘heartbeat’ of the earth. I knew she was responding to this EarthCalm system, and everyone recognized that also.
Fast forward to the beginning of February of 2017, her owner was released from the hospital. He was so weak and feeble, we knew it was too soon to bring Shelby home. We waited almost a month before even attempting to do so.
We went over the day before she was to be returned home, brought over her raw food, and all the supplements that she needed. We made up a schedule; for everyone to pitch in and help Shelby and her owner, to make it easier on him. My friend Karen and I’s job was to go once a week and bathe Shelby. That was going to be on Fridays.
Shelby Goes Home!
Shelby went home on February 26, a Sunday, months after having seen her owner. She was happy to see him, and he her. It was a happy reunion, and we thought, all was well.
Friday, 4 days later, Karen and I went to bathe Shelby. I almost lost it when I saw her. She looked AWFUL. Skin and bones and fire red hot spots, and her tail bleeding everywhere. Lots of fur missing again. I will never forget, the way she would come to me, let out this forlorn whimper, and turn around towards the door. It was as if she was asking me to take her away!? But, we bathed her and then spent a bit of time talking to her owner. During that time, he was eating Burger King. (Ya, not too smart with pancreatitis). So he’s got this burger and fries on the coffee table. And Shelby wouldn’t let up with trying to take it. He would get SO angry with her begging for his food, it really made me wonder how angry he must get with her when no one was around!!! It scared me for her. But I thought maybe she was just being ‘bad’ and that she was a food beggar.
When we went to leave, she blocked me at the door. Again, pleading with me. I fought SO hard to stay strong. I had to walk away. Telling her I’d see her next Friday.
Karen and I were silent on the way home. We both were so deeply saddened by Shelby’s condition and had no words. It had been like a nightmare. We’d worked so hard on Shelby for months, to get her to a level of health, and in less than a week, it had all been stripped away by her going home. She literally was skin and bones, and her skin? It hung on her like an elephant. She was ‘ugly’ looking. And I feel bad saying that because we had always seen her as beautiful.
When I got home, and my husband asked me how it had gone. I lost it. Completely bawled like a baby. I was SO devastated by Shelby’s condition, and because I ‘knew’ her, it just was so unfair for her to have to ‘live’ like that. Clearly, once again, neglected. HOW could someone do that to such a sweet dog??? I didn’t get it. I knew; I had to do something. I had to go and take Shelby. In order to literally save her life, I had to go get her. And through my tears, I begged Darryl to please let me go get her. I didn’t know long term what we would do, as I was leaving on a trip for 18 days in just over a week, but it didn’t matter, we’d figure it out.
I went back the next day, Saturday, and brought her home. Her owner didn’t care. He was relieved that she was going. When she got here, she drank and drank and drank and drank. Come to think of it? I hadn’t seen any water dish out anywhere. She was dehydrated!!! And then food time….she inhaled it. In one gulp it seemed. Wanted more. I gave her more. As we all stood and watched her eat (my 3 kids too) and looked at her ribs, we all believed she was starving. Starved and dehydrated.
A few days later, I got a hold of Karen and asked her to go back to the house and get all of Shelby’s food we’d brought there almost 2 weeks earlier. If I have Shelby, I might as well use the food that I’d brought over to be used for her? Just that day, her owner had been admitted back into the hospital. So when Karen got to his house and went in, it smelled like death. Upon following her nose, she found the 2 cases of raw food, rotting away. They hadn’t been put in the freezer!!! All wasted. And the bag of kibble? Unopened. It verified right then and there, that Shelby HAD been starved for those 5 days, and there was no water bowl anywhere. I was SO…angry, and I cried again. That poor girl. So when she was wanting to take his Burger King, and he was getting so mad at her, it was because she was HUNGRY!! Not because she was ‘bad’. I tell you, it broke my heart. Such a beautiful souled dog, to be treated that way. It made me even happier that I’d taken her. It scared me to think what would have happened had I not.
On the day I brought her home, our good friend Blair came over and seen we had ANOTHER dog. I have 4 of my own, and at the time I had Gunther here. But Gunther was just ‘visiting’, and Shelby; well I knew I couldn’t keep her long term. I had no idea what was going to happen with her owner, or how long she was going to have to stay with us. (We kinda knew at this point already she was never going to go back to her owner-as some of his other friends were coming forward and asking for Shelby to NOT be returned to him) There was too much pointing to knowing she could never go back there.
Anyways, Blair asks what we are going to do with Shelby when I left for my trip to the US. ‘She’s coming to your house’ I tell him. ‘OK,’ he says. What!? Really Blair? You will help me with Shelby and take her and help rehab her?? Yup. He agreed to take Shelby for me. He was laid off from work for months, and he could spend lots of time with her, he had just lost his dog Binx and would love another dog around. How awesome was this? Prayers answered. During the next week and a half before I left for my trip, he came into the city frequently to spend time with Shelby and build a bond. She adored him. On March 14, she went home with Blair. I sent along everything she needed, including our extra EarthCalm system we had from the lake, which was shut down till May 1.
Moving to the Country
Shelby did great with Blair. She loved the country life with him. But we knew it would all have to come to end when he went back to work. As much as he would have loved to keep her, his job took him away from home for at least 12 hours a day, it would have left her alone too much. Not what you want for a dog who already hates being left alone. In the meantime though, our goal was to get her back on her feet, and try and find a forever home for her. She deserved that. We all wanted that for her. And for now, she could remain with Blair. He loved her greatly.
She definitely began to flourish. The months went on.
May 1st, we opened up our trailer at the lake. The one thing that we were missing was our Earthcalm system, but Blair had it at his place for Shelby. I needed it back for the lake, as our dog Bohdi wouldn’t settle down. He kept pacing and going to the spot where it used to be plugged in, turning in circles, and pacing some more. We knew we had to get it back from Blair. We met up a week later and installed it back at the lake. Although I knew now that meant Shelby had no protection. What would happen?
Three weeks later I got in touch with Blair to see how Shelby was doing. “Not good” is what he told me. Oh no! What is going on? He told me that she had been losing her fur again, constantly itching and scratching, and plucking at her tail. It was like she’d gone drastically backward he said. It made me wonder, when did this begin? When I asked him that, he told me that ‘come to think of it, I first noticed it the evening of the day we’d met at Perkins’. Well, THAT was the day that the Earthcalm was taken out of her environment! It was the ONLY thing that had changed!!!
And that day, everything had changed for her again. She started freaking out if she was left alone and chewing on her tail. Downhill. She was definitely EMF sensitive, and I knew then, that wherever she ended up, she would have to have her own system. Her ‘special needs’ were definitely apparent. It made me sad to know that she was without her ‘protection’, and I knew we had to figure out a solution. And we tried, but it became apparent that we just had to get Shelby her own system wherever she ended up.
Coming Back Home to Us
At the beginning of July, Blair went on vacation. Shelby came back to us. I knew when she came back then, that we were just going to keep her. I wasn’t going to bounce her back to Blair’s after he returned. I needed to try and get her back to where we’d had her at the beginning of May, and hopefully to 100%, at which point we could get her off to her ‘Forever Home’.
As the time went by, Shelby started to bounce back. Her fur began to grow in, and you could tell she was feeling better!!! She never lost her will to play and became more and more energetic, and we began to see more and more how beautiful Shelby was.
Six weeks later, Shelby was a whole new dog. She spent the summer with us at the lake and had her first taste of being in the water, which she was afraid of at first; to swimming across a body of water by summer’s end, looking for me in the kayak. She was always by my side, and couldn’t stand to be away from Mom. The adventures she got to have, we knew were many ‘firsts’ for her, and we loved watching her exploring these new worlds which she never knew were there before. We all enjoyed watching life through her eyes!
During this time, a family whom we knew in the campground, had shown some interest in possibly adopting Shelby into their family. However, they weren’t going to be able to take her until October 1 when their new house was ready. Perfect for me, as that gave me time to get Shelby even BETTER in time for her Forever home. We had it all planned out, and we were so happy for Shelby that she had found her ‘family’. For the next few weeks, Shelby spent a lot of time with her new family and began to build her bond with them. I was beyond happy to know that finally, things were coming together for her. I loved her dearly, and I wished I could keep her, but I was maxed out with the dogs I already had, and I knew I couldn’t. But it mattered to me ‘where’ she ended up, and it was important to me that whoever got her would have to carry on the exact regimen I had been, so that all this hard work, wasn’t for nothing. For now, we had Shelby for another few weeks before she moved into her new home.
She did soooo good up until mid-September. I had her to 95% at that point! I had a chocolate lab!! Her fur had almost all grown back in again, and I really felt like we ‘had’ this. Shelby was becoming healthy.
And then, Shelby went for another ‘move’. This time, it was to spend a week with her new family at the campground, as ‘dad’ was on holidays and could spend all day with her. This was now the sixth time that Shelby had experienced a move in her eight months with me. I never knew what an impact this was having on her at the time. We always used to call her a Chameleon because she could adapt to anywhere you put her. I left Shelby with them on a Sunday, included all her food and supplements, and told them if Shelby started scratching and itching, to go to our trailer and get the Earthcalm system for her. I returned the following Friday, five days later, and instantly, my heart sank when I saw Shelby. She looked like she’d lost weight, (even though she had been eating) and she had lost a lot of fur off of her face and neck area. Her eyes were sad. She didn’t want to ‘talk’ to me. It broke my heart. I found out, that by about the third day in, she had begun to scratch and itch. They had forgotten about going to get the Earthcalm system for her, nor had they left her Earthcalm collar on either. So she was getting zero protection and had relapsed horribly during those few days. I didn’t blame them for having done anything ‘wrong’, I knew that she was very special needs, and it just went to show how much she really DID need all these things in order for her to remain healthy. I just felt such sadness for her though, like I had let her down.
By Mid September, she had continued to lose her fur, even though she was back with us. I didn’t know WHAT I was doing wrong! The only change I’d done was add CBD to her regimen, it brought her a level of comfort, as she wouldn’t stop itching and scratching. It made me feel helpless because she was back in her ‘environment’, nothing had changed, WHY was I losing this battle? I went over everything repeatedly, and I didn’t know ‘what’ I was missing?? She continued to drop fur out daily.
I have to admit, that I didn’t really have a lot of pictures of Shelby at this time, as it hurt me to see her this way. If anything, it was more videos of her and Bohdi playing, as then I’d see her happy, but in a picture, all I see is sadness.
The Last Months
By October 2017, Shelby seemed to have gone more ‘backwards’. I felt like my world was spinning out of control because I felt so helpless. I took her to the vet, and all was well. Other than her thyroid being off a bit, everything else was good!? I wasn’t too worried about the thyroid issue because I’d just started her on CoEnzymeQ10 a few weeks before, so I hoped that would take care of rectifying itself. I was to go back in January of 2018 to retest everything just to see.
However, it wasn’t long after this that I started ‘hearing’ Shelby tell me that she wanted to die if she couldn’t stay with me and my family. This caused us quite a bit of stress because we knew we couldn’t keep her. If, that was what she wanted, HOW were we going to deal with this? I’d told my husband and some friends, and whilst Darryl believed it, one of my friends told me that this wasn’t possible. Shelby didn’t want to die. But, I ‘knew’ better. And so upon the advice of another one of my clients, who’s good friend was an animal communicator, I decided that maybe this was the only way I could truly be validated for what Shelby’s thoughts and wishes were? I made an appointment for her to come over and ‘talk’ to Shelby.
The day before Morgan arrived, we received an amazing ‘gift’, in the way of finding out that we COULD keep Shelby!!!! It was an answer to prayer. Now, we knew that if Shelby wanted to stay, she could. This meant having to let her other family know that she wasn’t possibly going to be coming to them, at all. This was something I already knew would disappoint them. I talked to them and let them know what I was doing, and that what the outcome probably was going to be. They completely understood. They wanted the very best for Shelby, regardless of where she ended up.
The animal communicator Morgan arrived the next day. It left me reeling. I’d never experienced what I had seen and what I heard. Everything had changed. I was right, Shelby wanted to die. Her will to live was gone. She suffered from PTSD due to the ‘horrific’ abuse she endured at the hands of her owner, and the place where she was now, literally left her in a place that she didn’t want to live anymore.
At first, Shelby didn’t want to ‘talk’ to Morgan, it took about half an hour before she finally opened up, but when she did, it all began to flow. It was as if she was happy to finally be ‘heard’.
The first thing that Shelby said was that she was NOT a chameleon!! This completely shook me to the core. The EXACT same thing that we’d been saying all these months was now just right in my face. I’ll never forget how that felt like something had ‘hit’ me hearing those words. “I am NOT a chameleon’. That and how she DID want to stay with us. She didn’t want to leave me. She had never felt like she belonged anywhere, and having her bounced around only caused more emotional trauma for her. She felt like she had no identity or purpose. She was a very hurt girl, with extremely complex needs, and at a very different ‘frequency’ or level of emotional requirements. The worst ‘negative’ shifts for her, were always brought on by the moves, it caused so much negativity for her even though we didn’t know it then.
She couldn’t be around negativity, such as fighting or tense situations as it affected her greatly. Our home was peaceful for her, and this is where she wanted to remain. Right from the beginning when I first got her, everyone told me ‘she belongs to you, Brenda’. I knew she and I had a very unique connection, but I didn’t ‘see’ it because I thought all along I couldn’t keep her. So I put up the ‘wall’ to not let her in. She wasn’t mine to keep. Little did I know, that she WAS my ‘soul dog’ and that she had to stay with me. Morgan confirmed that. I got the ‘validation’ that I needed. Morgan said that because of her very very ‘special needs’, being much more than physical, that if I sent her anywhere else, it would be the end of her. Again, something I knew in my heart.
She had regressed so horribly in the past weeks because she was terrified, waiting for the shoe to drop. I knew there was ‘more’ behind it when it just didn’t get better, and instead got worse.
So…we happily came to accept that she had to remain with us. And EVERYTHING changed. She stopped scratching like crazy, and it was like she knew that all this ‘trauma’ was over for her. She ‘belonged’ now. She felt it, as did everyone else. The energy in our home changed, the burden, the weight, was lifted. She became SOO happy when we sat around her in a circle that evening and told her she got to STAY!! She was jumping up on us all, something she’d never done before, and giving us all lots of kisses. The kids were saying “Mom, she understands! She understands!!”. And of course she did, I had no doubt about it.
After all this, it really showed me just how much of a complex case I was working with. Not only did I have physical issues to deal with, (weakened immune system/yeast), but also EMF sensitive, PTSD and psychological damage to undo. The ‘mental’ state of Shelby was something I began to fully understand. Her actions and behaviors now all made sense to me, she had a LOT of baggage. We now had all that to ‘undo’.
Almost immediately after this, Shelby began to improve. Her sweaty hot body began to cool down. She began to drink water again, which was something that she just wouldn’t do before. It seemed that all the ‘bad’, was just gone?
(See Shelby’s Long Road home Video here) https://youtu.be/xV3eaEtrEmA
The only thing that I still wasn’t ‘on top of’ was her fur. I still couldn’t get it to begin to grow back in!! I beat myself up because I couldn’t figure out where I had gone wrong, and after trying to change her food to an all raw fish regimen and adding Kelp, nothing seemed to help.
Then, the ‘answer’ came!!! Mid-November, Via Mike Stansbury of Nzymes. He told me about a lady he’d spoken with on that particular day, who told him that she believed that her dog had begun to grow hair back with the use of Melatonin. MELATONIN!!!! Oh my gosh, that was IT!!! THAT was what I’d been missing!!!
Before she had gone with her new ‘family’ in September, I had been giving her melatonin. But after she came back from them, I had not been giving her any, as I’d changed over to CBD oil, due to her rough shape. I never even thought about Melatonin until Mike mentioned it to me. It was that ‘aha’ moment. This was the missing link. I went and looked it up online, and was blown away by how much there was about Melatonin and not only helping dogs to be relaxed, more ‘brain happy’, but that it caused hair growth. Now I knew why I had lost that battle, I’d stopped giving her something that she so badly needed, not realizing the importance of it.
This was the first article I found explaining the benefits of Melatonin for dogs:
Melatonin – Will it Help Grow Hair
It worked!!! Almost immediately she started growing fur again. The pictures didn’t do the justice for what she all had coming in, as those baby fine furs don’t show up, but they were there!! This was what she had needed.
Things started going really well. I was beginning to believe that we just maybe, ‘had’ this. That lasted a couple of weeks.
Beginning of December 2017, another round of problems arose. This time around her face, and neck/chest area. Her skin was bare, she was erupting in sores from rubbing so much. A lump had also developed under her right eye. I wanted to make myself believe it was an issue with a tooth, but my heart told me otherwise.
Around her neck/chest area, she started getting these crusty yellow patches. It would start off as an ‘oozing’ clear fluid spot and then become this.
It all happened so fast. The decline. It actually shocked me to see how quickly things changed.
She started losing weight. And I knew from bathing her every second day, and knowing her body SO well, that she was rapidly dropping pounds. I had even observed, how one day her belly area was rock hard, and the next it was lumpy and all lopsided. She was still eating and drinking good, so at least she had that going for her. But the weirdest thing she did, was start sleeping standing up. At first, we thought she was just being silly, but as we came to learn, it was because she was too uncomfortable to remain laying down.
By now, her eyes had become sad, and once again, as much as it broke my heart, I was ‘hearing’ what she was saying. I didn’t even question it this time. I knew. I knew that she wanted to Go. I couldn’t even ask her to not give up, I knew that she was just ‘done’.
The Thursday before Christmas, was ‘the’ day that I truly knew, that Shelby’s time with us was short. We made it through the holidays, and then at the beginning of January of 2018, she started being unable to keep food down. She was still eating and drinking, but hours later, it would all come back up. I also felt her lymph nodes, and they were HUGE. I was terrified.
The evening of January 5th, we were all supposed to go out. But, my daughter Turi became ill, and my husband had to remain home with her. I know that it was ‘meant to be’ that they weren’t able to join us, as Shelby took a drastic downhill decline. She’d lost all her supper again, and Darryl had truly thought that she was passing away at around 11:15 that night. He’d been encouraging her to Go, be free, he didn’t want to hold her back in any way. He was a mess when I came home that night at 11:30, he thought for sure he was going to lose her. But when I came through the door, she came bounding up to see me like there was nothing wrong. Mom was home, that was all that mattered to Shelby. She was, my girl.
As Darryl told me what had all transpired, I knew, I needed to call the vet. I was advised to bring her in first thing in the morning. As I set up a bed for her and me downstairs on the hide a bed, I choked back the tears knowing that this was going to be the last night for her and I.
I had to be prepared, for the worst. I had many ‘talks’ with her that night, telling her that she could go and that I understood and she needed to carry on. I thanked for her the time she had spent with us.
We spent the night snuggling, as much as we could. Due to her being so uncomfortable, she wouldn’t lie down, and if she did, it was short lived. I did the best I could with her, making sure that she was as happy as she could. She loved her Nzymes treats, and even though I knew they’d come right back up in a while, I gave her as many as she wanted. It didn’t matter to me.
The next morning, my daughter Turi and I were at the vet at 9 am. After the physical exam, the blood work was started. Sitting in that room, waiting, seemed like hours. Shelby was a champ though, she was still her happy usual self, tail whacking against everything in sight. As I sat there with her, I wondered how many more hours we had left…
The vet came in. The look on her face said it all. But her words of ‘this isn’t good’ shook me. Even though I’d suspected it wasn’t good, hearing someone say it, made it the truth. Shelby was riddled with Lymphoma. So bad, that nobody at that vet office had ever seen numbers so high! They were stunned. I knew as soon as I seen the results too, that I didn’t have a chance. Lymphoma is the one thing that I cant ‘fix’, and I knew that this meant without a doubt, she had to Go. I couldn’t ‘fight’ for her any longer, she’d presented me with such a worst-case scenario, that I was beaten. I knew what had to be done, that day.
I have always had my animals euthanized at home. I want it to be peaceful for them. Not at the place they hate the most on a cold metal table. No, it has to be at home, surrounded by their family, human and animal. I want the other animals to recognize that their friends have passed on. I don’t want them to ‘wait’ for them to return, which they’d be waiting for if we did so at the vet. So, I made the arrangements for the vet to come to our house that afternoon. They took Shelby away to have the IV stint put into her leg for the appointment later.
Turi and I left the vet office, both completely silent. Shelby, was happy to be in the back seat, going for a truck ride. Probably oblivious to what was going to happen, or maybe she did know…? We drove home, dreading walking through the door and having to tell everyone the news.
We went into ‘all about Shelby’ mode as soon as we got there. We brought her bed out, put her in the middle of the living room, and loved her. I also contacted Morgan again, the animal communicator. I wanted her to ‘talk’ to Shelby because I wanted to know what Shelby was thinking and that everything was going to be ‘ok’. Morgan provided us with great insight to Shelby, with what she was thinking, feeling, and what she needed from us. We were prepared to give her anything she needed.
I laid with Shelby on her bed, and held her, all the while telling her that I loved her, thanked her for being my dog, and told her that I was going to be ‘ok’. One of the things that Shelby had told Morgan was that she was afraid that I wasn’t going to be ‘ok’. I needed her. She needed me. Would I be ok without her? Yes, I told her I would be, not believing myself, as I didn’t know how I could EVER get over this loss. I hung onto every moment.
I called our friend Blair, and let him know what was going on. He came right away, as he wanted to be able to say Goodbye to Shelby, and be there with us when Shelby crossed over. Shelby was super happy to see him, and they had their alone time saying Goodbye. He and Shelby had spent many months together, and it was only right that he be there also.
When the vet arrived, we knew that it was time. We shared the last minutes with Shelby, trying to make time stand still. I held her head in my hands, we gazed into each other’s eyes, and I felt her life leave her body. My Shelby was gone. GONE!!!!!
I can’t even begin to explain how we all felt. Devastated. Shocked. We didn’t know what to do with ourselves.
Dealing with grief on its own is one thing, but I had the added sadness of feeling I had failed. I had failed Shelby. That’s how I felt. I wanted to quit. Having lost her, and having done SO much for her in the past year, HOW could this have happened? Why? Those answers were soon to come.
How this story takes a turn, is something that I will never, ever forget. I know I am always the first to say ‘everything happens for a reason’, and I could never have imagined the ‘gift’ Shelby gave to us. She showed us the “Joy in our sorrow” by leaving this world, so that others could be saved.
I realized, that I wasn’t meant to save Shelby physically, but instead in a spiritual/emotional way. And, I have accepted that and found peace with having this ‘answer’. But, it doesn’t ‘end’ here. Her story has only finished its first few chapters.
Please, stay tuned for the next part of ‘the rest of the story’. It is truly remarkable to see what transpired for another chocolate lab, named Eli, who was 12 years old. Because of Shelby, Eli’s life was saved. She had to go, so he could be saved. The Joy in our Sorrow. (See Video)
I will always have a special place in my heart for Shelby, as will my entire family, and anyone who ever met her. She will never be forgotten, and her legacy is going to live on forever. My heart dog.
Don’t Stop Believing!!!
- All raw diet
- Nzymes Granules
- Ox E Drops
- Bak Pak Plus
- Colloidal Silver
- Excel K9 Oil
- CBD oil (for a short time